When a Stranger Falls Over
Do you remember what they taught you as a child? If you were ever on fire, you were to stop, drop, and roll.
I’m not frequently on fire, but I find myself doing two of the three on a regular basis. I have a Functional Neurological Disorder, and one of the most common symptoms for me are drop attacks.
No, I’m not a rarefied Australian marsupial ready to pounce; my tree climbing days are well over. A drop attack is a sudden inexplicable collapse to the ground, without loss of consciousness. It’s not like a seizure (although I do get those!), it’s a sheer inexplicable collapse to the floor.
This is horrendous, and the fall is never the worst part. The difficulty is the overbearing kindness of strangers, which inevitably flock to my aid to ask “are you alright?” Yep! This isn’t like your usual falls, friend. However, I’ve probably just gone non-verbal and you’re shouting at me, maybe even trying to get me off the ground before my brain has caught back up to my body.
Listen: You do NOT know why someone has fallen over. There’s a whole set of diagnoses from the brain to the body. This is the biggest reason I do not go outside alone anymore, because people trying to help will inadvertently escalate the situation massively. What was a quick tumble to the concrete is now a small rabble of well-to-do’s thinking they’re doing the right thing.
If you’re a good Samaritan in the making, here’s how I want you to handle the situation:
- Do they have someone with them? Trust that they will help if they need it or ask you for help if necessary.
- Do they have a mobility aid? If it rolled out of reach, put it in arms length again. Do not hold it out for them to grab! Crutches and canes can provide essential leverage to recover from a fall and you are less stable than the ground.
- If the fall has attracted too much attention, please remind people to give the person who has fallen space and to act calmly. Especially if it is in a crowded environment, sometimes the best thing you can do is physically create distance and privacy for the fallen to get themselves back up.
- Take a look out for any nearby benches, or seating. Falling can be very disorienting, making it difficult to keep standing (especially if everyone is loudly asking if they’re alright). You can let the person with them know or bring a chair over just in case.
- Listen to any communication. I have tics, coprolalia and tend to yell at people involuntarily if put into a difficult situation. If someone tells you to fuck off, don’t moralise it- it may be all they are able to say in that moment.
A fall is shocking! It’s unexpected! This may make you panic or worry. It is always ok to not be able to help someone, especially if they didn’t ask for help. If someone has fallen and they’re conscious, it’s very unlikely they need medical attention and you can absolutely just get on with your day.
It doesn’t matter their age, what they look like, even what aids they use. The first thing they teach you about using a wheelchair is how to recover by yourself. Many folks have a sunflower lanyard or pin to show they have a hidden disability. If someone knows about their symptoms enough to wear one of these, you can trust that they are probably used to dealing with uncomfortable situations in public spaces.
Don’t make yourself something they need to deal with too.
Falling with grace,
Haley